You know what?
I don’t care if being a lesbian isn’t natural.
Its 2013. Oreos don’t have a single natural ingredient in them that isn’t distilled out of recognition. People get their vegetables from cans. They have made cruelty-free, lab-grown BACON. People fly around in big, metal machines.
I. AM. TALKING. TO SOMEONE. ACROSS THE WORLD. IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.
Not natural. Is not bad.
Your rhetoric is no longer a valid excuse for hate.
My mother is extremely unaccepting. I am a female-to-male transgender, and she blatantly refuses to allow me any room to be myself. She pushes girly things on me, tells me she’ll never let me dress the way I want, and so on, and so forth.
If you think that I should be allowed to be who I am, please reblog this.
I feel like I did the gay literary equivalent of calling out a prophet today. I called out Armistead “Tales of the City” Maupin for a badly phrased remark on the coming out of Clive Davis.
For those who don’t know, Clive Davis is a record producer. His work has introduced the wider world to people ranging from Aretha Franklin to Whitney Houston. He also has penned his memoirs, and he used that opportunity to fully discuss his bisexuality.
Maupin has been out for decades as a gay man. He’s written some wondrous stories about San Francisco and the gay scene there as it evolved post-Stonewall. So his words have some weight.
I confess I’m too wrapped up in an anxiety reaction to go back and photo-quote his opening remark on Davis. This quote may thus get an article or two wrong. But what I recall seeing him say in response was, “I believe in bisexuals, but I wish they’d come out at the beginning of their careers.”
Leading with a belief remark stung. Thinking he could judge how bisexuals come out stung worse. And that’s when I poked him with a stick. I snarked about being Tinker Bell and made another withering remark about how grateful I was he believed in us. As well as one or two other things, none of which were harsher than dark sarcasm or dubbing him a biphobe.
It’s plausible he meant, “I wish it were possible for more bisexuals to come out earlier in their lives.” If he’d said it that way, I’d agree. Davis being unable to be out when he was a younger man must’ve been frustrating. Maupin would know that too well; he served in the military when coming out would’ve meant a dishonorable discharge and worse.
But he didn’t say that. What he said hurt. Someone I admired spoke in a biphobic fashion and what I saw of his twitstream after he got more than one callout demonstrated he wasn’t understanding where he screwed up.
I haven’t read what he has said since, if anything. My anxiety disorder won’t let me without turning into a quivering mass. As best I can tell, my mentions aren’t blowing up anymore, however much they might’ve been after Maupin retweeted me and at least one of his fans poked me with a tone argument. I’ve not read Twitter for hours and I unfollowed Maupin as well to allow me to breathe more.
But gods help me, I called out Armistead Maupin. It feels like I yelled at an uncle. He earned it, but I can’t shake the surrealistic feeling it left behind.
If only a writer could figure out how to say what he meant. If he meant what he said, I am disappointed. If not, he should know better about such things.
Well, he did give you a nice reply. However, I feel like he’s been very condescending to other people (bisexualftw) and it really does look like he’s blaming bis for bi erasure.
But then, he also seems to like Dan Savage. :-/
A lot of people I otherwise respect like Savage. It’s like a bad 70s fashion that won’t go away.
And yeah, I’m glad of the reply still. And he’s unfortunately condescending to damn near everybody. Condition of age, I’d say at a guess. Blaming us for our own erasure is another common trait. I need to let go of the growly about this, though, for my own health.
I will continue to bask in the glow of an accomplished writer complimenting my words while being quietly aware I’m still dealing with a man who has things to learn and a society that doesn’t encourage him to do so. After the adrenalin spike and accompanying reactions I had yesterday, I need the endorphins.