1. A PSA in my not-defense


    As a lot of you know, I tend to be attracted primarily to other fat people*. 

    That said, I’ve seen a lot of posts lately touting the superior social virtues of that preference.

    I want to say once and for all: Being physically attracted to fat people does NOT make you a better person. It does not mean that you’re any more or less shallow than people who are generally attracted to thin people. It does not mean that you’ve taken the moral high road. It does not mean that anybody should be giving you a cookie for your good works. When I see someone’s body and it gets the blood surging, I’m not seeing something deeper or more meaningful than anyone else.

    You know why I’m generally attracted to fat people? Because that’s the body type that most often turns me on. I don’t think, “This is my opportunity to strike a blow against oppressive beauty standards!” I just think, “Wow, they’re hot!” It’s the same feeling and process that people who are generally attracted to thin people, or mid-sized people, or brunettes, or people who wear glasses, or people with bushy beards go through. It’s always been that way for me. I’m pretty sure it goes back at least as far as me having a massive crush on my kindergarten teacher (who knows, maybe they were the genesis of that preference). But certainly it’s been that way since long before I knew anything about shame-based advertising, or media and the male gaze, or much of anything else.

    Don’t be afraid of what turns you on. Revel in it. Own it. Enjoy it. (Even if it’s ‘nothing’!) But don’t pretend it’s any more than that — the collective biochemical and neuronal firings of the big black box that makes up your psyche kicking in that wondrous cocktail when your eyes cross paths. Sure, there are probably a lot of people who never come out to themselves about it, but that’s presumably its own reward, and in the end, has nothing to do with having the preference in the first place.

    [* Standard disclaimer: Not everybody I’m attracted to is fat or identifies as fat, nor am I attracted to all fat people. There are a bunch of characteristics that I find attractive in a person, both physically and non-physically. This is just the one I’m choosing to talk about today.]

    In this, as with so many other things, There Is No One True Way.

  2. Added a link to Les Toil’s page devoted to this marvelous character, Hilda, and her creator, Duane Bryers. Check it out.

  3. damn right it is, girl.

    damn right it is, girl.

  4. Every day is a “fat day” for me.


    Because I’m fucking fat.

    If you want to stop having self-doubt days, go right ahead. I will support you in any way that I can.

    But fuck you for saying that the days you feel gross and lazy and unsuccessful are your “fat days.”

    Because my fat days are full of love, and compassion, putting up a fight for those that I love, feeling beautiful, and fighting against those who would rather see me fail. 

    Fat is not a bad word, and it’s not the reason for your shortcomings. So stop it.

About me

Kirsten. Forty-something. Fat. Married.
Queer, kinky, poly.
Not exactly sure what I'm doing here - but as near as I can figure, neither can anyone else. :-P