1. jensenacklesruinedmylife:

    mynameisdug:

    the-llamas-pajamas:

    anabundanceofcarla:

    Holy fuck, why are there not more promos like this?

    This is amazing!

    This is to every single person in my life at this point… Because some people think I am faking or truly think it is an act. 

    Bless.

    This is beautiful, and I hope it goes viral…

    …but the kind of nerd I am, I just kept thinking “O captain, my captain.”

  2. fuckyeahladies-fictionalandreal:

You, stop scrolling, we need to address some things about Hyperbole and a Half writer Allie Brosh. Think calling her the voice of a generation is going too far? Bullshit. This woman is one of the most real, relatable, creative, funny, and vulnerable writers of all time. From the pants-wettingly hilarious God of Cake to the needed-to-said-but-everyone’s-too-afraid-to-talk about it Adventures in Depression, Allie’s posts have genius pacing and are fantastic at highlighting the wonderful idiosyncrasies that make her who she is. She’s willing to let us in to aspects of her life that she doesn’t even understand so that people going through similar things can feel less fucking alone in a world that vilifies and over simplifies the complexities of mental illness. Allie doesn’t smile for you, or hand you bullshit platitudes because that. Doesn’t. Fucking. Help. She’ll laugh when she’s damn well ready to laugh and she’ll cry when she damn well needs to cry, and you’ll do both with her because she speaks to the parts of all of us that we thought were too weird and too complicated to be understood.

Fuck. YES.
I’d say I wanted to be Allie when I grew up, but 1) I’m pretty sure I’m older than she is already and 2) I’m pretty sure neither of us actually plans to grow up.

    fuckyeahladies-fictionalandreal:

    You, stop scrolling, we need to address some things about Hyperbole and a Half writer Allie Brosh. Think calling her the voice of a generation is going too far? Bullshit. This woman is one of the most real, relatable, creative, funny, and vulnerable writers of all time. From the pants-wettingly hilarious God of Cake to the needed-to-said-but-everyone’s-too-afraid-to-talk about it Adventures in Depression, Allie’s posts have genius pacing and are fantastic at highlighting the wonderful idiosyncrasies that make her who she is. She’s willing to let us in to aspects of her life that she doesn’t even understand so that people going through similar things can feel less fucking alone in a world that vilifies and over simplifies the complexities of mental illness. Allie doesn’t smile for you, or hand you bullshit platitudes because that. Doesn’t. Fucking. Help. She’ll laugh when she’s damn well ready to laugh and she’ll cry when she damn well needs to cry, and you’ll do both with her because she speaks to the parts of all of us that we thought were too weird and too complicated to be understood.

    Fuck. YES.

    I’d say I wanted to be Allie when I grew up, but 1) I’m pretty sure I’m older than she is already and 2) I’m pretty sure neither of us actually plans to grow up.

  3. boggletheowl:

    I’ve been getting a lot of these lately, and I guess I just want you all to know what I think when I read them.

  4. cartoonfatshion:

Of course you can only be sad so long before you forget that you’re cute

    cartoonfatshion:

    Of course you can only be sad so long before you forget that you’re cute

  5. boggletheowl:

1) Don’t try to give them advice. I know this is coming from an owl who gives depressed people advice! But I only do that for people who have asked for it. Unless they specifically say to you, “What do you think about all this?” or “What do you think I should do?” then advice is not really what they’re looking for, and you don’t need to feel like you have to come up with any.2) Don’t try to guess what they’re feeling, or why they feel that way. The best case scenario is that you are right, but they didn’t figure it out for themselves, so it probably won’t sink in! The worst case scenario is that you are wrong, and you have inadvertently shut them out of the conversation. Either way, you haven’t really helped. Of course, if they ask for your insight, that’s a different story!3) Ask questions! And then be quiet until they are done talking. Give them just a little bit longer to go on than you would in an ordinary conversation. There is a good chance that they have things they need to say, but are reluctant to talk about. Maybe you feel awkward during silences, but they need those silences to work up the courage to keep talking.4) Maybe you know something about their condition. Maybe you even share it! But you are not talking about their condition (unless for some reason you are); you are talking about their feelings, and their experiences. Empathy is very powerful, but don’t let the conversation become about you or what you know.5) They might try to deflect the conversation by bringing your feelings into it: “Sorry for bringing you down,” “I don’t want to make you worry, I’m fine,” “This must be really boring, let’s talk about something else,” that sort of thing. They are probably not doing that because they really want to change the subject, but because opening up is hard, and maybe they feel like they don’t deserve to. Gently reassure them that you are fine, their problems are not boring, and that you want to help and you are still listening. If you do that, and they still try to deflect, you can just ask them, “Do you really want to change the subject? It’s okay, we don’t have to keep talking about this if you don’t want to.” But make sure it’s clear that that choice is about their feelings, not yours.6) Things that are obvious to you are not obvious to them. You know that they are fun to be around! You know that it’s okay for them to make mistakes! You know that having a bad day doesn’t make them a bad person! But they don’t know that. These are good things to point out.7) You are going to have to repeat yourself a lot. This is because their thoughts are repeating themselves a lot! Depression is at least partly fueled by self-destructive thought patterns, which means they are falling into the same thought-traps over and over again. Please try not to get frustrated. They are not doing it on purpose.8) It is important to establish boundaries. Being around depressed people can be very draining. And if you make yourself constantly available to them, there is a good chance that they will start to rely on your support in an unhealthy way! That is not good for you, them, or your relationship. It is okay to say, “I love you! I wish you weren’t feeling this way! But I can’t really deal with this right now. Please do something nice for yourself, okay? I will talk to you tomorrow!” They might be a little hurt to be turned away at first, but ultimately it is for the best.9) Understand that you do not have the power to break them out of their destructive thought patterns. Only they can do that. They will have a hard time internalizing what you say, and they probably won’t take your advice (assuming you even gave them any). And that’s okay. You are just trying to support them! They can do anything they want with that support.10) Please don’t be disheartened by what looks to you like a lack of progress. I know it can be hard not to feel like you aren’t making any difference. But your kindness and patience are so powerful. People struggling with depression know how hard they sometimes are to be around. The fact that you are trying at all means more than you think.
—-
I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!

    boggletheowl:

    1) Don’t try to give them advice. I know this is coming from an owl who gives depressed people advice! But I only do that for people who have asked for it. Unless they specifically say to you, “What do you think about all this?” or “What do you think I should do?” then advice is not really what they’re looking for, and you don’t need to feel like you have to come up with any.

    2) Don’t try to guess what they’re feeling, or why they feel that way. The best case scenario is that you are right, but they didn’t figure it out for themselves, so it probably won’t sink in! The worst case scenario is that you are wrong, and you have inadvertently shut them out of the conversation. Either way, you haven’t really helped. Of course, if they ask for your insight, that’s a different story!

    3) Ask questions! And then be quiet until they are done talking. Give them just a little bit longer to go on than you would in an ordinary conversation. There is a good chance that they have things they need to say, but are reluctant to talk about. Maybe you feel awkward during silences, but they need those silences to work up the courage to keep talking.

    4) Maybe you know something about their condition. Maybe you even share it! But you are not talking about their condition (unless for some reason you are); you are talking about their feelings, and their experiences. Empathy is very powerful, but don’t let the conversation become about you or what you know.

    5) They might try to deflect the conversation by bringing your feelings into it: “Sorry for bringing you down,” “I don’t want to make you worry, I’m fine,” “This must be really boring, let’s talk about something else,” that sort of thing. They are probably not doing that because they really want to change the subject, but because opening up is hard, and maybe they feel like they don’t deserve to. Gently reassure them that you are fine, their problems are not boring, and that you want to help and you are still listening. If you do that, and they still try to deflect, you can just ask them, “Do you really want to change the subject? It’s okay, we don’t have to keep talking about this if you don’t want to.” But make sure it’s clear that that choice is about their feelings, not yours.

    6) Things that are obvious to you are not obvious to them. You know that they are fun to be around! You know that it’s okay for them to make mistakes! You know that having a bad day doesn’t make them a bad person! But they don’t know that. These are good things to point out.

    7) You are going to have to repeat yourself a lot. This is because their thoughts are repeating themselves a lot! Depression is at least partly fueled by self-destructive thought patterns, which means they are falling into the same thought-traps over and over again. Please try not to get frustrated. They are not doing it on purpose.

    8) It is important to establish boundaries. Being around depressed people can be very draining. And if you make yourself constantly available to them, there is a good chance that they will start to rely on your support in an unhealthy way! That is not good for you, them, or your relationship. It is okay to say, “I love you! I wish you weren’t feeling this way! But I can’t really deal with this right now. Please do something nice for yourself, okay? I will talk to you tomorrow!” They might be a little hurt to be turned away at first, but ultimately it is for the best.

    9) Understand that you do not have the power to break them out of their destructive thought patterns. Only they can do that. They will have a hard time internalizing what you say, and they probably won’t take your advice (assuming you even gave them any). And that’s okay. You are just trying to support them! They can do anything they want with that support.

    10) Please don’t be disheartened by what looks to you like a lack of progress. I know it can be hard not to feel like you aren’t making any difference. But your kindness and patience are so powerful. People struggling with depression know how hard they sometimes are to be around. The fact that you are trying at all means more than you think.

    —-

    I just want to say that I am not any kind of therapist; I am just a girl on the internet who draws owls. But I get a lot of questions from people who want to take better care of their depressed friends and family, but don’t know how! So I hope this has been useful to some of you out there!

  6. bogglelovesyou:

    It makes me so sad when people talk about not having the right to feel depressed. That’s like saying you don’t have the right to have a broken leg.

    “But I only slipped in a puddle! That girl over there fell out of a third storey window!”

    Your leg is still broken! What does she have to do with you? Please get yourself to a doctor!

  7. bogglelovesyou:

    Maybe ‘going to a therapist’ is too hard for you right now. But you can put on your coat. And then you can get your keys. And then you can drive to an address. And then you can get out of your car, and go inside. And then, when you are sitting down across from a therapist, you can start finding words for how you feel. I know you can.

About me

Kirsten. Forty-something. Fat. Married.
Queer, kinky, poly.
Not exactly sure what I'm doing here - but as near as I can figure, neither can anyone else. :-P

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