1. impuretale:

ramblingwayfarer:

rectumofglory:

submariet:

ladynero815:

nudityandnerdery:

casteilnovak:

I think we need to clone him for future generations.

Why? I’m pretty sure that when Death comes for him, Christopher Lee will be waiting with a knife, and I’m not betting on Death in that fight.

Are you kidding? Mr. Lee and Death are old drinking buddies.

Christopher Lee just stabs Death and there’s a beat before Death goes “HEEEEYYYY how the hell have you been, you old bastard” and hugs him, the knife still buried in his back.


#christopher lee proceeds to give death a hard time for not making the correct stabbed-in-the-back sound









Ohmygod.

I’m pretty sure they’re the same guy, if you read Terry Pratchett at all. Christopher Lee is the only person in existence who speaks in all caps. 

    impuretale:

    ramblingwayfarer:

    rectumofglory:

    submariet:

    ladynero815:

    nudityandnerdery:

    casteilnovak:

    I think we need to clone him for future generations.

    Why? I’m pretty sure that when Death comes for him, Christopher Lee will be waiting with a knife, and I’m not betting on Death in that fight.

    Are you kidding? Mr. Lee and Death are old drinking buddies.

    Christopher Lee just stabs Death and there’s a beat before Death goes “HEEEEYYYY how the hell have you been, you old bastard” and hugs him, the knife still buried in his back.

    Ohmygod.

    I’m pretty sure they’re the same guy, if you read Terry Pratchett at all. Christopher Lee is the only person in existence who speaks in all caps. 

  2. tysolna:

myurlhasbeencompromisedagain:

krabbydon:

loraclespeaks:

crunchbuttsteak:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

Cave Johnson here, our first attempt at making combustable lemons didn’t quite go as planned. If you see one of these lemons, do not get close, and if you hear any whispered voices, please let a test associate know, because that’s supposed to happen.

I am the lemon dream
the citron in your nightmares
the fiend of a thousand fruits
cower before my true form

"Fingers" are a trait lying dormant in the genome of citruses. This could have arisen through (an admittedly spectacular) mutation activating this tendency, or as a response to the citrus bud mite. [x]

Or Satan fucked a lemon tree.

Every time I see this post, it has gotten better.

    tysolna:

    myurlhasbeencompromisedagain:

    krabbydon:

    loraclespeaks:

    crunchbuttsteak:

    thebloggerbloggerfun:

    teafortrouble:

    eteo:

    fall-for-nothing:

    trickster-eridan:

    buttpilgrim:

    scientificperfection:

    kittiesinthemorning:

    I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

    WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

    when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

    it’s back

    Satan lemon

    every villain is lemons

    And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

    And now: The Weather.

    Cave Johnson here, our first attempt at making combustable lemons didn’t quite go as planned. If you see one of these lemons, do not get close, and if you hear any whispered voices, please let a test associate know, because that’s supposed to happen.

    I am the lemon dream

    the citron in your nightmares

    the fiend of a thousand fruits

    cower before my true form

    "Fingers" are a trait lying dormant in the genome of citruses. This could have arisen through (an admittedly spectacular) mutation activating this tendency, or as a response to the citrus bud mite. [x]

    Or Satan fucked a lemon tree.

    Every time I see this post, it has gotten better.

  3. lapfulofmisha:

    marbearflair:

    gaymommy:

    samisforsamurai:

    fuckingwhiskey:

    if you think all boobs are supposed to be perky and big with perfectly centered nickel-sized nipples you probably have never actually seen a boob in real life because boobs are diverse as frick

    Or maybe they’ve only seen one boob

    not even a set of boobs because boobs are usually 2 different sizes

    just one boob

    all by its lonesome

    a singular boob floating aimlessly through the void

    incredible

    image

    HOW IS THERE A GIF FOR THAT

  4. thomas4th:

sputnikcentury:

Important insight from Mr. Elba.

PACIFIC RIM 2: DUCK PUNT

    thomas4th:

    sputnikcentury:

    Important insight from Mr. Elba.

    PACIFIC RIM 2: DUCK PUNT

  5. holdthebones:

    whatwouldyoudoifthedoctor:

    deathpup:

    what happens if u put a werewolf on the moon is a great question probably the best question ever asked

    he’ll explode and die because there’s no oxygen on the moon

    We never said we’d send him up without a suit you absolute monster

  6. milestaylorcosplay:

spooktercrunk:

abhorticulture:

thecakebar:

Surprise! Gender Reveal Cake
A Gender reveal party is where the parents throw a party (similar to a baby shower) to find out the gender of the baby! 
No one knows the sex of the baby (just the party planner/bakers know!)
The gender is revealed when the parents cut the cake open and the inside color of the cake/desserts reveal if the baby will be a boy or a girl! (pink is usually used for girls, blue for boys of course!)

mine was full of wasps. HUGE WASPS.

"what’s the baby’s gender?" the eager party goers ask, crowded around the cake
slowly, the knife cuts through the first piece. “wasps.” the proud parent-to-be whispers, “wasps.”
one thousand wasps are released from the gender cake.

And now, the weather.

    milestaylorcosplay:

    spooktercrunk:

    abhorticulture:

    thecakebar:

    Surprise! Gender Reveal Cake

    • A Gender reveal party is where the parents throw a party (similar to a baby shower) to find out the gender of the baby! 
    • No one knows the sex of the baby (just the party planner/bakers know!)
    • The gender is revealed when the parents cut the cake open and the inside color of the cake/desserts reveal if the baby will be a boy or a girl! (pink is usually used for girls, blue for boys of course!)

    mine was full of wasps. HUGE WASPS.

    "what’s the baby’s gender?" the eager party goers ask, crowded around the cake

    slowly, the knife cuts through the first piece. “wasps.” the proud parent-to-be whispers, “wasps.”

    one thousand wasps are released from the gender cake.

    And now, the weather.

  7. I like folding origami with post-it notes

    blue-author:

    anal-beats:

    be-blackstar:

    mind-ovrmatter:

    so i got big post-it notes and made this:

    image

    Its called a revealed flower, and it does this:

    image

    Soo if u cant tell, im very proud of this lmaoo

    pretty girl, pretty flower 

    Pls teach me

    I think if you solve this, Pinhead shows up and gives you a flower crown.

  8. rawr-its-red:

    theycallmethemoose:

    batmanisagatewaydrug:

    stammsternenstaub:

    saxifraga-x-urbium:

    asterion22:

    prettylittletmi:

    Daniel Radcliffe Brushes Off ‘Fifty Shades’ Snub (x)

    I appreciate the very real disgust on his face in the second gif. 

    i bet rob pattinson just rang him up and screamed don’t do it in the phone

    I bet this phonecall happened at 2am with no greeting and Dan knew exactly who it was and why.

    I bet Robert Pattinson has made it his mission in life to prevent people from taking shitty roles that will haunt them forever and everyone in Hollywood knows it and now he’s like the Acting Avenger

    the Acting Avenger

    Bless this post.

  9. genalovestoons:

    thatkindoffangirl:

    eternal-floette:

    How long until the 15 year olds take over this post with their garbage

    I’ve stopped being 15 years old long enough that I have the privilege of occasionally saying something that is not garbage so let’s try to pull it off.

    What you are trying to express with this comic is problematic. The idea that tumblr or more specifically social justice activist don’t know that these people exist is not only false (they do), but feeds into a shallow narrative of what social justice is and how it should relate to the individual.

    As the name implies, social justice is social, the opposite of individual. As an individual you are entitled to your opinion. You have no problem being called faggot? You’re right. Want to try your bindi on your white friend that looks supercute in it? There is no social justice police going to stop you from that. But the moment in which you don’t recognize that no matter what your opinion is, and no matter what your feelings on these issues are these actions harm your group at a societal level, then you are wrong. Not as a matter of opinions anymore, but as a matter of facts.

    Cultural appropriation (bindi/dreads), microaggressions (faggot/racial prejudice), lack of representation (transexuality awareness) and claims of “reverse sexism” are hurting minorities, no matter what anyone’s opinion on these issues is. Research out there that shows that all the problems you are tackling here harm at a societal level the same people you have depicted here as not affected by them at an individual one. 

    As an example, I have OCD, and I really do not care about people who say things like “oh I’m so OCD”. I understand that they mean no harm to me, I understand that their ignorance is not their fault, and I understand that is just a word. I don’t care about all this. BUT when this illness keeps being trivialized as a character quirk a lot of bad shit happens at a societal level: people getting told they should just get over it, people who fit the diagnosis not recognizing that they have it because OCD is wrongly represented, people being denied accommodations for their disability because OCD is not so badand so on. Did this ever happen to me? No. It didn’t affect me as an individual (yet). But it does affect me society, and it is my duty as a member of a larger group to take a step back, to realize that not everyone is going to be as lucky as I am, and realize that my individual thoughts and experiences do not matter when other people out there are suffering from the results of that harmless ignorance I could easily ignore based on my individual experience. And after I’ve done that I need to call out that ignorance, because the moment in which I justify that ignorance on the base that as an individual, I am not affected by it is the moment in which I become the oppressor of the same minority I belong in.

    Kudos to you for this excellent response. The distinction between individual issues and societal ones is really important.

  10. urulokid:

    tico-taco-ra-ra-ra:

    urulokid:

    jellybaby74:

    urulokid:

    zionicbond:

    urulokid:

    chibitamichan:

    urulokid:

    Yeah I’m totally elsa kids come on over

    I can’t breathe, this is so friggin cute

    Like you don’t understand okay I was trapped for an hour on the second floor of the con with hundreds of children and their parents because everyone thought I was Elsa

    Am I the only one who thinks she looks like the khaleesi like The mother of dragons?

    I was cosplaying dany I was mistaken for Elsa and wound up at a nine yr old girls birthday party this was the best day of my life

    I thought she was Kalesi…

    YES I WAS COSPLAYING KHALEESI

    I WAS HOWEVER MISTAKEN ON AN ENORMOUS SCALE FOR ELSA OF ARENDELLE BY HUNDREDS OF SMALL CHILDREN AND THEIR MOTHERS

    well you didnt have to use caps lock…

    I AM DAENERYS STORMBORN, THE UNBURNT, OF THE HOUSE TARGARYEN, FIRST OF MY NAME; QUEEN OF MEEREEN; QUEEN OF THE ANDALS, THE RHYNAR, AND THE FIRST MEN; LADY REGNANT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, PROTECTOR OF THE REALM, KHALEESI OF THE GREAT GRASS SEA, BREAKER OF CHAINS, AND MOTHER OF DRAGONS 

    AND I WILL USE CAPS LOCK IF I SO PLEASE

About me

Kirsten. Forty-something. Fat. Married.
Queer, kinky, poly.
Not exactly sure what I'm doing here - but as near as I can figure, neither can anyone else. :-P

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